


Red Haze

by cloudcomet



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Anger, F/M, Loyalty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudcomet/pseuds/cloudcomet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ward's anger and thoughts in 1X08. Mild mentions of everyone else in the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Haze

Ward considered himself to be excellent at concealing and suppressing his feelings. He had all the training he needed to compartmentalize them and focus solely on the job. But ever since he had come into contact with the staff, all he could see was red and he was pretty sure it was clouding up his brain as well.

That staff dredged up memories that he had locked into the deepest and darkest part of his brains but yet all it took was a touch to trigger them. He was engulfed in the tidal wave of dark emotions that came right away. That was when he realized that he had not practiced what he preached to Jemma; to confront fears so that they didn’t grow. He thought he had gotten over the loss of his youngest brother, fought off the demonic shadow of his older brother and had become stronger. He was proven wrong.

He had been reluctant to admit to the 3 who were still unfit for combat. It might have scared them or worse frighten them into thinking that he couldn’t protect them. But Skye’s pushing had led him into unleashing a harsh tirade he couldn’t rein in. He had never meant to be so harsh with Skye, he _knew_ she had only been trying to help and understand him. He had only managed it with Jemma, he just couldn’t summon his anger against her and by extension, Fitz, and because he knew what hurt Fitz hurt Jemma too. He would never risk that.

When push came to shove, he called upon his awakened rage again while fighting against other emotions such as fear to protect his team. The haze did not cloud out everything, the loyalty he felt towards Coulson, May, Skye, Fitz and Jemma emerged strong and fueled his strength. For once, he let go of his rational mind and allowed himself to be propelled forwards by his primal instincts and react accordingly. But just as the Asgardian had predicted, the surge ended and he had no reserves of energy left.

May had stepped in, not as the Cavalry but as a team mate and he watched her go while filing it in his mind that he needed coaching on how she dealt from her. And that was exactly what he did at the end of the day when he had saw May slinking into her room with a superior bottle of alcohol.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried leaving all the pairings ambiguous this time round. I hope it worked. I also think the prof's admission that the effects would only wear off after decades is a bit of a joke/having fun at Ward's expense. Churned this out in half an hour despite having loads of things to do -.- procrastination ftw.


End file.
